Jennifer Snyder – Lakewood, Florida Florida


I will let you read her own words that she emailed me on 8/19…. “I went back and forth for weeks about writing this. I would like to be able to say that my intentions are good, but in all honesty they are mixed. I plan to only tell you the truth but I realize you may choose not to believe me. I think I will at least feel better if I send this, but I’m not sure. I had put this away thinking I would never send it as I really had no reason to hurt you. Even after you contacted multiple people in my life I just wanted to leave you alone. I don’t know why you felt the need to slander my professional reputation on the internet, especially in the very public forum of Google where even my kids could see it?! Eric told me that he told you everything about us. I doubt that is true. Here’s my version if you care to know. We met though the Internet last summer. We met several times, both of us thinking we were looking for the intimacy and companionship we were not getting at home. He described you as an emotionally abusive alcoholic. We did not plan to fall in love, but we did. Most of our time spent together was just holding each other, talking about hopes and fears, dreams and past hurts. The 2 days we spent in West Virginia together were so happy. We talked about how wonderful it would be to go back someday when we were truly together. Because of the love and acceptance I gave him in August and September he felt more confident and was able to tell you that he wanted to leave. His words-not mine. That is when you convinced him to stay and try again. At the time, he made me believe that he felt obligated to stay and help you beat your alcohol addiction even though he loved me more. He said he would never forgive himself if he didn’t try one more time to save his marriage. I know this was mostly guilt and fear but I no longer know if he was being completely honest with me. I think he was as honest as he could be, but at the time I did not understand the depth of the dysfunction you two share. We saw each other once to say “goodbye” and he cried and cried. He was already starting to look like a shell of the man I previously knew. We continued to communicate via text and phone until February. In February I told him that I could no longer wait for him to figure things out and that I needed to move on in my life. The day I saw him in February he looked like one of the most miserable men I have ever seen in my life. He seemed resigned to his unhappiness, too afraid to try for a real life. I thought I would never see him again. He texted me in May out of the blue. He contacted me-NOT the other way around. When we met in the park, he was his old self again, healthy, happy. He very clearly explained that he had been trying long enough. He was certain his marriage was over, he could not stay with you. He said he waited to contact me until he knew he was absolutely certain of this. He promised there was no possible way he could ever hurt me again. He wanted another chance at happiness. I still loved him so I chose to believe him. I feel like I asked him some very hard questions that day. I now know that there were no right questions that would have given me answers that could have clued me in to what was going to happen. He was not lying. I am certain of that. He believed he wanted to leave you and grab for the jackpot (his word, not mine). He was so excited he told you that same night that he wanted a divorce. He had reassured me that you and he had discussed the possibility of divorce so it surprised me that you freaked out so badly that he needed to call off work and drive to Sandusky. At the time I thought that was just further evidence of what he had told me about you-that you are manipulative, and weak. Now I realize that he may have just been full of crap. We met twice in the following weeks. We talked and texted daily. He continued to say that he loved me, wanted me, was completely sure he was doing the right thing, that I was the only thing that could make him happy. I know you would like to believe that I somehow coerced your husband into having sex with me again. It would be vulgar to give you the details explaining why that is not true. But please stop deluding yourself. He was a willing participant. I started to see signs that his codependency was worse than I thought, but I still believed him. Even on June 6th, he was still texting me “I’m certain,” “I love you, and want you to feel how certain I am,” “I need you.” Just 6 hours later he called to tell me it was over. I will never know the truth about those 6 hours. Even if I did, I feel certain I would not understand it. When he met me in that parking lot he looked like a zombie again. You turned him back into a zombie in just 6 hours-impressive. He could barely talk. When you showed up with the ridiculous excuse that you were worried I might come to the house I watched you with him. I watched as you talked to him and his head and shoulders dropped lower and lower. If I had not been so angry with him, I might have felt pity. Things I want you to know: You are married to a coward. Eric stays with you because he is weak, not because you are the love of his life. I am less angry so I can feel pity for both of you. Eric will never forget me as long as he lives. We did not share just an affair. He felt something he NEVER felt before and he knows deep down he will probably never feel again. Your husband will never be able to be in a tent, go ziplining, stay in a hotel, or probably visit West Virginia without feeling a physical and emotional pain that has no remedy. Ever single time he sees a picnic table he will have only one consuming image in his head, and it is not of you. Ask him about his Appalachian trail name and why he picked it. If the answer doesn’t make you want to cry, he’s not telling the truth. He was telling me the truth. He wished he could leave you and have a life with me. He stayed out of guilt, obligation and fear. I doubt that will keep either of you happy for long. Your kids deserve so much better. I can only imagine what sort of dysfunctional relationships they will find themselves in someday with the two of you as role models. At least for their sake, get some real help. I appreciate the pain Eric caused me. I know now I was pining away with a memory of something “perfect” that was not real. When he showed himself to be a coward with no honor on June 6th, he freed me. I will never wonder what if. I will never ever think of him as the love that got away. I will remember him as a sweet man, who loved me, but was too afraid to grab for true happiness in life. In the long run he knows he would have let me down. I suspect that played into his final decision. You should know that your Google review of me as a doctor will be removed and that your actions are that of a coward. Again, my overwhelming feeling for both of you is pity and disgust. Your several attempts to mess with my life are clear evidence that you are already feeling the frustration of your pathetic and permanently dysfunctional relationship. Leave me out of it. Please let this go and especially do not continue anything in a public forum that could hurt ALL of our children. That would be stupid and pointless. I hope to never hear from either of you again.”

Add comment